How to Approach the Reverse Mortgage Conversation with Your Parent

Starting a conversation with your parent about finances — especially something as personal as their home — can be difficult, but it often begins with recognizing the pressures they’re facing. For many older Canadians, the cost of staying in their home continues to rise: property taxes, utilities, and ongoing maintenance all climb with inflation and the age of the house. Add to that the growing out-of-pocket expenses for medical needs, personal support workers, and home-care services that aren’t fully covered by public healthcare, and it’s easy to see why monthly budgets feel stretched. Yet, most parents don’t want to leave the comfort and familiarity of their home; in fact, HomeEquity Bank reports that 95% of Canadians over 45 want to age in place. Framing the discussion around these shared concerns — security, independence, and rising costs — can be the first step toward an open, caring conversation about whether a reverse mortgage might help.

How to Approach the Conversation With Your Parent

Here’s a suggested step-by-step that you (as the caring adult child) could follow:

1. Set the tone with empathy: Approach your parent as a partner in the discussion. Express respect for their independence and desire to stay in the home.

2. Clarify goals: Ask: Do they want to stay in the home for as long as possible? Do they anticipate increased care needs? Do they want to leave the home (or its equity) to heirs?

3. Review current and projected costs:

· Estimate home-maintenance/repair needs (roof, furnace, flood risk, accessibility modifications)

· Estimate care needs: Are the existing supports enough? If additional home-care hours or moving to a retirement community arises, what cost might that be? (e.g., $28-$35/hr for PSW; $2,700+ per month for a retirement home in Hamilton region)

· Assess current income/cash-flow: pensions, investments, government benefits (OAS/GIS), other assets.

4. Estimate home equity & reverse mortgage amount:

· Determine approximate market value of the home, remaining mortgage (if any), age of the homeowner(s).

· With HomeEquity Bank you might access up to ~55% of home value (depending on age and property). CHIP+1

· Ask your mortgage agent for a quote and understand the interest rate, the cost of fees, and the implications of no monthly payments.

5. Compare alternatives:

· Could they downsize to a smaller home or condo? What would be the costs?

· Could they use a home equity line of credit (HELOC) or refinance existing mortgage?

· Could they sell and rent, freeing up equity and eliminating maintenance costs?

· Think of the trade-offs (equity preserved vs cash access vs staying put).

· Could their adult children supplement their income instead?

6. Understand the risks:

· Because interest accrues, over time the loan balance grows and reduces the remaining equity for the estate.

· Your parent must continue paying insurance/property taxes/maintenance – if they fail, the loan could become due.

· The impact on heirs: If you’re helping, it’s good to talk about what happens with the home and estate.

7. Get professional advice:

· Consult a qualified financial advisor who knows reverse mortgages in Ontario.

· Speak to a licensed mortgage agent about the reverse mortgage product, the difference between providers, and other options for accessing equity.

· Consult a lawyer about how taking the reverse mortgage affects estate planning, title, and inheritance.

8. Plan for monitoring & flexibility:

· Once in place, you and your parent should check annually: home value trends, health/care needs, interest accrual, maintenance costs.

· Stay open to adjusting the plan if care needs increase faster than expected

Key Takeaways for Your Role as the Care-giving Adult Child

· A reverse mortgage can be a tool, not a solution in isolation. It may help ease your parent’s cash-flow, cover home care or health-related costs, allow them to stay at home and give you peace of mind.

· Because Ontario’s home-care and long-term-care costs are rising (and health-care spending increases rapidly with age) it makes sense to build a buffer and access equity when appropriate.

· However, because the interest accumulates and the equity is reduced over time, it’s essential you frame the tool in the context of what your parent values: staying at home, preserving legacy, and maintaining dignity.

· Stay transparent with your parent about: what happens if care needs spike? What happens if moving becomes necessary? What do heirs (including you) expect?

· Empower your parent to make the decision—they must feel in control, and you as their child-advisor help facilitate, not dictate.

The Boom Health app provides trusted, vetted caregivers that can help meet your loved one’s specific needs. You can have peace of mind knowing that someone is always watching you or your loved one, offering support, and assisting with daily activities. If you are interested in booking care for you or your loved one, download the Boom Health app on the App Store or Google Play Store.

This article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.